Beneath the Deep: Remembering our Gold Star Mothers

I composed a song for Gold Star Mothers, I believe, in 2007 or 2008. I had ministered to many mothers, grandmothers, and widows since I became an Army Chaplain in 1991 (having been in Intelligence in the Navy before that). After the September 11th, 2001 Al Quida attacks, my caseload, sadly, increased dramatically. Out of this experience, I wrote “Beneath the Deep.” That is usually how I compose songs: I minister the Gospel to others, experience God’s grace amid chaos or tragedy, and am moved to write by believers demonstrating courage and strength in weakness. In this case, there was an inspirational event to birth the song and an experience that burned its message in my heart in a new way. I learned that friends from my school days lost a child and a grandchild (the latter while in the service of his country). I had not seen either Bambi or Bubba for many years. But somehow, the friendships of childhood transcend time. Some part of the pain of their loss touched me deeply. I had ministered to hundreds of families over thirty-two years of military service (and pastoral ministry). Yet, I felt helpless to offer my deepest Christian sympathies for this family. So, I raised a song and created images to create the video in this post. It is a small thing for such a huge loss. But we must offer the fish and loaves we have.

I. Gold Star Friends

The Gold Star Parents I choose to honor are Bambi and Bubba (Gold Star grandparents, really, but their influence in the boy’s life is nothing less than a mom and dad; as an orphan reared by my Aunt Eva, I understand). Bambi was my first crush as a lad, but I am sure she never knew it. If she did, she exercised good sense in focusing on her seventh-grade studies and the girls’ basketball team, and she excelled in both. I was an eighth-grade farm boy from the back woods, much more at home with cows, chickens, goats, and comic books than girls. And so I was out of my league. Heck, I didn’t even have a league! So, that gracious and good Christian girl was spared any further bother from that awkward boy. She would grow up to marry a very close friend of mine, Bubba. We spent many hours together. Besides an avid outdoorsman, and consummate student, Bubba was a hard-hitting middle-linebacker on our football team. I know firsthand how he shot through the line to punch out quarterbacks before they could figure out what (literally) hit them. I know because I was a quarterback knocked down by Bubba numerous times at football practice! I would crawl from the ground and think, “Okay, Bubba. Just hit that opposing quarterback like that on Friday night!” And he did.

Bubba was (and is) an all-around fine fellow from a great family. Bambi is a serene and gracious lass from a pioneering family in that part of the country, just like mine. Indeed, the Miltons and Bentons cut similar paths from the Carolinas to the old Mississippi Territory, from the Pee Dee River basin in North Carolina to the present South Alabama-North Florida (until the Fort Mims Massacre of 1813), across the piney-wood belt to the Amite River. This was The Great Migration from 1798 to about 1830. Denham Springs, the larger area we are from, used to be “Benton’s Ferry” and “Benton’s Landing.” That is where my great-great grandfather pulled up with a federal land bounty for service in the War of 1812. And Walker, another sizable town in Livingston Parish, was “Milton Old Field,” founded by that same fore-bearer, Michael Milton (1795-1863). All of us had deep roots there. The native accent of old Livingston Parish is almost identical to the traditional Piedmont of North Carolina, a vestige from its English, Scottish, and Welsh founders.

Back to my friends. Bambi and Bubba married while I was away in school with the Navy. When I first heard about that marriage, I was not surprised and I was delighted for them both. These two salt-of-the-earth individuals were perfect for each other. She was pretty, and Bubba was a handsome lad. Both were intelligent, athletic, diligent, and hard-working; I always considered them the all-American couple. And, indeed, they did very well in their lives together. Their community—no, I’d rather say “the world”— is better off because of their lives.

A few months ago, my cousin, Berlin, who returned to the “ancestral grounds” after a career away, told me how Bambi and Bubba’s losses, and those have been pronounced, included a child (a grandson like a son) serving his country as a Marine. I could not shake the thought of their heartache. I felt pain for them. My wife, Mae, can attest that I can be stricken with a burden or a memory of pain and cannot escape it without a response (of course, open-hearted prayer is the most significant and most effective response when a personal response is not available; but am I always so faithful to bring these burdens to the cross?). Moreover, I often alleviate the burden by picking up a guitar, seeking to locate a song at the piano, or hiding away with a canvas and brush. In this case, I returned to a song I had composed and recorded. I initially wrote the piece for Gold Star Mothers, whom I encountered as an Army Chaplain. But I wanted to revive the song for Bambi and Bubba. In doing so, I pray that the song ministers to many others, too.

That is how this music video came to be. So, Bubba and Bambi, this is for you. I am tardy in responding, but my heart has been filled with the prayers of both mourning and hope. May you know the healing touch of our resurrected and living Savior. He loves you. He is with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. I hear of your ministry to other Veterans, and I am in awe of your resilience and vision. As one Veteran, I thank you. I want to honor you and your heroic grandson with this small expression of God’s love.

I also offer this to any of you who are hurting from loss. The message of this song is that death is not the final chapter in our stories. Beneath the profound pain of loss, there is life waiting for the time when tears will be wiped away, and suffering will be no more. No one understands this pain or clings more tightly to that hope than those who have lost a child. Because of the victory over death by our Lord Jesus Christ, we can be assured that those whose bodies “sleep in Jesus” (though their souls are immediately with Christ in heaven) are like potent seeds in the ground. And those seeds are destined to bloom when Christ comes again. Therefore, we comfort each other with that Good News.

“The message of this song is that death is not the final chapter in our stories. Beneath the profound pain of loss, there is life waiting for the time when tears will be wiped away and suffering will be no more. No one understands this pain or clings more tightly to that hope than those who have lost a child.”

Michael A. Milton

Mae and I do pray for God’s blessing of healing, especially for all who are wounded by the searing loss of a child. As a minister of the Gospel in uniform, now retired, I know the many sacrifices our service members (police, fire, and other first responders) and families must make. You are not forgotten. I want you to know that many out here are eternally thankful.

Therefore, to all of our Gold Star Mothers and you, Bambi: My family and I send this passage:

“But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.

For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.”