You’re a woman who married the love of your life, only to realize that the person you thought you knew is not who they seem to be. Slowly, they begin to show their true colors—gaslighting, manipulating, isolating you, and even love-bombing you to keep you from leaving. It’s a confusing cycle, one that keeps you stuck in a haze, unsure of what’s real. Do you stay and try to understand them, hoping they’ll change? Or do you finally prioritize yourself, your mental health, and leave a relationship you’re too naive to call abusive?
At some point, you start wondering how things went so wrong and what you should do next. Your life seems to have gone astray, and you’re stuck wondering where to go from here. The truth is, you need to take a stand for yourself.
Let’s be clear: someone who claims to love you but doesn’t show it through their actions is not going to change. You can’t change them, and you shouldn’t try. Your life is far too precious to waste on someone who emotionally and mentally abuses you. Years down the line, you’ll regret not leaving sooner, and you’ll wonder why you didn’t prioritize your happiness and well-being. When things seem out of control and life feels like it’s gone astray, here’s what you need to do.
First, seek support. Don’t try to navigate this alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a professional who can help you understand what you’re going through and give you the strength to move forward. Support is essential for healing, and it’s the first step in reclaiming your life.
Second, manage your finances. Take control of your financial independence. It’s an important part of securing your future and being able to leave a toxic relationship if that’s what you decide. Start building a safety net for yourself, no matter how small it seems. Having control over your financial situation gives you power to make decisions that align with your best interests.
Third, leave them, if that’s the only choice that makes sense. If staying means sacrificing your mental and emotional health, then it’s time to walk away. You deserve peace, happiness, and a life where you can be your true self—without fear, guilt, or manipulation.
And finally, embrace life. It won’t be easy, and the road ahead might feel uncertain, but you can start fresh. Embrace the opportunities that come with starting over, even if it feels daunting. Life after abuse is a chance to rediscover your worth, your passions, and your strength.
So, why am I writing this blog? Why am I advocating for you to break free from the silence? Because I lost my daughter to someone she loved. She was trapped in an abusive relationship and never told anyone about it, and it cost her her life. That’s why I want to empower women who’ve experienced abuse and neglect to reclaim their lives. Your life matters, and I want you to find the courage to seek help before it’s too late.
In my book, Reach Your Higher Ground, I share my daughter’s story, the painful truths I uncovered in her journal, and the devastating impact of her silence. It’s a call to women who’ve suffered in silence, encouraging them to seek support, take action, and reclaim their lives. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Take that first step toward healing and a better life.